Vonda Erbele

Greetings to all! And I trust you are having a Blessed Easter…Resurrection Sunday.

“Because He lives I can face tomorrow”. I can face tomorrow but it is not easy. Last year on Good Friday Vonda went into a coma and passes away on Easter Monday morning. Since Easter was early last year the dates do not correspond but the event does. She died on March 24th. Nevertheless this is a difficult weekend with all the visions of her struggle as we stood helpless by as she passed from life into death.

The children were all home (except two spouses and three grandchildren) the last week of March. It was painful sorting through all the stuff of life and dividing it up among the children and deciding what I will be taking to N. Dak. We got a lot accomplished…the house is all tore apart…each making their piles of stuff to get later or have it shipped. (Joihn & Kroinda were able to take some to Msla…but the rest flew) Much was also given to chairities. Now I am living in the midst of chaos…has to get worse before it gets better.

Sunday I leave for our “Ministry Staff and Spouse Retreat” in Cody Wy. We have 73 registered. Vonda so enjoyed pampering the pastor’s wives.
Her touch will be greatly missed. This will be my last time in this role. June 30 I will transition out of my position and assume some lesser roles to assist the next Supt. Hope to be moved to N. Dak. by the middle of July.

I have also committed myself to a missions trip to Brazil June 22 -28. A team of 9 people will be going…including John & Heather and John and Korinda.

From all indication my Litotripsy (blasting of kidney stones) on March 31 was successful. More x-rays will be done next week.

Our conference office will also be moving. The conference office will be consolidated into the Faith Evangelical Church by June 15th . This is another added pressure getting all those matters in order.

Taking one day at a time and sustained by His Grace,

J. Dale Erbele

Dear Cyber family and friends:

Time marches on…March is a very painful reminder of what we were going through last year in watching Vonda lose her battle for life. She died on March 24th and the emptiness and pain I feel is still very real.

On Monday we had a special session of Annual Conference to elect a new Conference Superintendent. Rev. Steve Strutz senior pastor of our Faith Evangelical Church in Billings was chosen as our new Supt. I will continue to serve until June 30th. Steve will assume his duties July 1st. This will take considerable pressure off of my life. My limited responsibilies will be serving as Chairman of the Conf. Board of Church Extension…dealing primarily with planting new churches.

Sometime in July I will be moving to Streeter, N. Dak. I have purchased an older smaller home. Now I will have to get my house ready for selling and dispose of a lot of the “stuff of life”. All of my children wil be here the week of March 23 to assist in the settling of this estate…there are inheritance items that they will all take…and I know what I will take to enhance my living in Streeter…the rest will be put on a grage sale or given to charity.

This will be another major life changing endeavor for me…sometimes I get emotionally exhausted just thinking about the uncertainty that lies ahead. I live one hour at a time and try to make the best of it. Covet your prayers!

Sustained by His Grace,

J. Dale Erbele

Hi Cyber space family:
I know many of you have been praying and concerned about my recent biopsy. At 6:P.M this evening I received word that my protate biopsy turned out NORMAL…meaning no cancer! Praise the Lord and thanks for your prayers and concerns. The Dr. said I should be good for at least another 10 years.

However, the x-rays revealed that I have a 6.7mm kidney stone in my upper right kidney. This stone is getting to the size where percentage wise it is extremely difficult to pass…if at all. So, he recommend I have a lithotripsy (sp) done…in other words blast the thing out of there. I have had numberous kidney stone attacks over the years…including a lithotripsy!
I guess I am building some kind of monument rich in minerals.

Enough of my problems…trust all is well with all who read this…God’s richest blessings to you!

J. Dale Erbele

I am busy with life and ministry. Feb. 7th would have been Vonda’s 66 birthday. Life is incredibly short. Next Tues. Feb. 10/09 I will have a prostate biopsy to determine if it is cancerous. Somehow I have had my fill of dealing with cancer…covet your prayers. March 9th we elect a new Supt. but I will continue to serve until the end of June.

I came across this parable about life that I would like to share with you in the hussle and bussle of it all.

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.
“Not very long,” answered the fisherman.
“But then, why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?” asked the American.
The Mexican fisherman explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.
The American asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”
“I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go to the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. I have a full life.”
The American interrupted, “I have a MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat.”
“And after that?” asked the fisherman.
“With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise.”
“How long will that take?” asked the fisherman.
“Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years,” replied the Harvard MBA.
“And after that?”
“Afterwards? Well my friend, that’s when it gets really interesting,” answered the Harvard grad laughing. “When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!”
“Millions? Really? And after that?” asked the fisherman.
“After that you’ll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend you evenings drinking and enjoying your friends.”

The moral of this story: KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING IN LIFE…YOU MAY ALREADY BE THERE.

To all my friends in Cyber Land…thanks for caring and listening to my blog. Sustained by His Grace, J. Dale Erbele

Greetings to all who check this blog:

I know that a number of you still check the blog…thanks for caring and checking! It has been a month since I have last updated you. I trust you all had a Spirit filled holiday experience. My journey to visit my children over the “Holy”days was a bitter/sweet experience. This was our first Christmas without Vonda’s physical presence and it was painful for all of us…I missed my wife, the children missed their mother, the grandchildren missed their grandmother. It just wasn’t the same and we have to adjust to the new reality that it never will be the same. Since coming home it seems the emptiness and pain of my loss has intensified…not sure how long it will take to work through all this grief process, but I am working on it!

During the holidays my children encouraged me to also get on Face Book…so a number of pictures and comments can be seen on that. The housing situation has been an issue for Darren & Korissa Olson and for John and Heather. Thankfully in the midst of our country’s economy the Olson’s house sold and they are now fully settle in their “new” house. John and Heather have sold their house in Missoula but are still somewhat in limbo in securing a home in the south Minneapolis Metro area. (They are currently leasing a town house). The Husbands are doing well in Charlotte…I experienced a heat wave…leaving Minneapolis on Christmas morning at -4 below and arriving two hours later in Charlotte with temps in the 70’s was almost to much…but it did cool down. In Minneapolis and Charlotte I was able to attend some Christmas festivities and enjoy some holiday gathering. Korinda Luhmann called me on Christmas day to extend their Christmas greetings and told me that my Christmas gift would be the fact that their sixth child would arrive in July!! That would make 14 grandchildren…so sad that Vonda will miss all this on this earth…and I am a poor substitue for a grandma.

I arrived home on January 2nd. and on January 4th I flew to Portlan, Or. to speak at the Pacific Evangelical School of Ministry…it appears that the messages were well recieved. While in Portland I was able to connect with my cousin Mary Wagoner and her family, former youth pastor in Missoula (Dan & Precilla Hochhalter) and also some long lost friends from High School. I arrived home on Jan. 10th to an avalanche of work in the home and in the conference…everyday I feel somewhat overwhelmed and have to try and pace myself. It seems that there are days when depression lies just around the corner. I am trying to finish well my ministry role in the Conference until June when a new Superintendent will take over. At that time I will be making some significant transitions. I will keep you posted…in the mean time I covet your prayers and hearing from you.

Sustained by His Grace,

J. Dale Erbele

Merry Christmas - To all my cyber space prayer partners:

Trust you are all celebrating and enjoying this season of the year. It has been an unbelievable year for me and my family. Still can’t believe the changes I am having to deal with and adjust to. This is especially a hard time of the year. Vonda lived for the Christmas season. Our home was always transformed into a Victorian Winter Wonderland Extravaganza to be shared with family and many friends. For over thirty years we hosted an open house for our Church family and also shared fellowship and refreshments with many people such as youth choirs, orchestra members etc. This has all come to an abrupt end. The only ornament I put up was the one given to me last week at the Hospice Luminary Remembrance Christmas Celebration. It was a sad but memoable time as 232 families were remembered who lost loved ones this past year.

Just because it is not the same for me or my family one thing remains constant…the fact of Christmas has not changed. God stepped out of heaven and gave us His son to show us the way back to the Father…the supreme gift of love for a lost humanity. This gift to be meaningful must be “opened” received or it does no good. If you recieve a gift this Christmas and do not open it…it will be an insult to the giver and of no value (or blessing) to you. Our purpose on earth is to keep on sharing “The Gift”. A good book to read this season is: “The Purpose of Christmas” by Rick Warren.

Sunday I leave for a 17 day trip. First stop Minneapolis to spent time with Darren and Korissa Olson and John and Heather (and of course the grandkids). On Christmas Day I fly to Charlotte, N.C. to spend time with Kent and Kendra and three granddaughters. New Year’s I fly back to Minneapolis and the next day back to Billings. I will be home for two days and then I fly to Portland Oregon where I willl be speaking at the Pacific Evangelical School of Ministry.

Thanks for coming along side of us this year in bearing our burdens in the loss of our dear Vonda. Your cards, e-mail, calls, visits and medical financial support are all appreciated more than you will ever know!!

I do desire for all of you to spend time with your family…enjoy them while you have them. May you all have a very Merry (Blessed) Christmas and a good New Year.

Until Next Year,

J. Dale Erbele

Greetings Cyber Family & Friends:

It has been awhile since I last communicated. I am still trying to adjust to everything and get some normalcy and balance into my life…I am not sure what that is going to look like - yet! It is sure different processing life alone. Monday (Nov. 24) it will be 8 months since my life’s partner departed this earthly realm. The Holiday season brings back so many memories because Vonda lived for the Holidays…she would pull out all “the stops” to make it as meaningful as possible for family and friends. There will not be a “Victorian Christmas” this year.

I will be spending Thanksgiving in Missoula with the Luhmann tribe. The week before Christmas I will be in Minneapolis with the Olson’s and John E’s. On Christmas morning (early) I will fly to Charlotte, N.C. and return to Mn. on New Years day and then on to Billings. The family sacrificed so much last year in time and finances to be here as much as possible knowing it could very well be our last Christmas together - which it was. It is easier for me to visit the family this year. Truthfully it is kind of depressing around here.

This week I closed another chapter. Vonda inherited a car from her parents when they passed away. She loved that car…but I can only drive one car at a time. So I gave it to a needy family who (in today’s economy) could not afford transportation. It was with mixed emotions to see the car depart from my drive way for the last time!! Trust it will bless someone else.

My drive and energy is still not back to where it once was…the past 18 months has taken so much out of me. I am doing my best to keep up with all my conference responsibilities. Last week we had our Annual Conference sessions…here in Billings. John E. and the Luhmann’s were her plus two other staff couples from Missoula…so all total I had 12 people in the house. The conference was good and I believe everyone had a good time. We were to elect a new District Supt. but the individual with a landslide vote felt it was not his time to leave his church…so we have a committee formed to study the whole Supt. structure and what new paradigms might yet unfold and also give God time to speak to someone else. I plan on stepping down in June and assume a much lesser role.

I am leaving tomorrow for Sheridan, Cheyenne and Cody Wy. Wishing all of you a Blessed and Happy Thanksgiving Day! No matter what there is always something to be thankful for.

(If you hear the media or anyone else call it Turkey Day…in heaven’s name correct them…let us not let the world cheapen and steal this day -o.k.?)

Sustained by His Grace,

J. Dale Erbele

Dad, brother John, and a couple of relatives and I had a bittersweet time at the cemetery on September 8. Mom’s headstone was the most beautiful monument I have ever seen! Carved all the way in India- with a beautiful Rose on the front and Morning Glories on the back. Her picture on the front was absolutely beautiful- I could almost smell her that day. “For Vonda To Live Was Christ, and To Die is Gain” is written on the back. The stone was such a great representation of who she was. (We always said she did everything so grand- she had to have the biggest and most elaborate stone there! I had a great time ministering in song at a women’s retreat “Renewal” in Lehr, ND on the Saturday a few days before. Mom was one of the speakers there last year. It brought back many memories of the great time we had together. Dad was there and I got teary eyed as he did such a great job as a Grandpa- babysitting, and feeding and playing with Emerson and Everett. He is working so hard to fill in the Grandma gaps and doing such an incredible job. Dad had shared a while back about mom’s last soup that he ate. His tears flowed into the delicious Hamburger soup, bringing back so many memories of the special smells and the way she knew just how to spice things. I mentioned to Dad that weekend that I had one loaf of Mom’s homemade special wheat bread that she made, which was triple wrapped and saved in my freezer. I told him I was keeping it for a very special occasion whether it is Christmas, or Thanksgiving, or whenever we can be together and eat the very last bread she ever made. Mom’s specialty was her homemade whole wheat bread. Now, it was not good enough to just buy wheat flour off the shelf, she even had to grind her own wheat to make this bread. This past February when mom was still ill, she journeyed to Minneapolis with Dad when he had some meetings. Knowing that her time was short on this earth, there was still many things I wanted to glean from her- one of them was I wanted her to demonstrate how she made her homemade bread! Since no recipe was truly followed- everything by feel, she was delighted to show me. She was weak, and had to take breaks, and I noticed how hard she had to think about something she had done a million times before. It truly was a labor of love. We brought some fresh loaves to 2 neighbors who have helped us out so much. I savored the loaves over the next months- delightful toast- crunchy yet chewy, and full of seeds and goodness. The same bread she would use to make our lunches growing up. I had one loaf left- triple wrapped it and put it in my freezer. It became even more precious to me when she passed away on March 24.

Fast forward to a week after we put the headstone on mom’s grave. Darren was just getting back home from an art show in Washington, DC and drove up the driveway.
Emerson and I, with little Everett in my arms, stood in the doorway as he started for us. Just then, our neighbor intercepted and said, ,”Man, I need to talk to you..” pulling Darren towards his house. I took the boys inside, and with a crying 2 year old who wanted his Daddy, we waited inside to see what was going on. Darren came in and told me the man didn’t get his check, and his girlfriend who also lived there didn’t get her check. She and 2 of her kids who lived there, were hungry. The house is in foreclosure, falling apart, and they hadn’t eaten for 2 days. The man asked Darren if they could have some cans of food, since their stove was not working. Just something they could eat out of a can. I remembered our pastor, John Piper, had said that we needed to show “ministries of mercy” for practical, Christ-dependent, Christ-exalting steps to relieve suffering now and forever through Christ, especially among those who have the fewest resources, and when we give, we need to give our best. I told Darren to go back and tell them to wait 20 minutes and I would whip up a hot dinner to bring over. I had just gone grocery shopping, and my cupboards were full. I made them a huge pan of whole wheat spaghetti and meat sauce, creamed corn, cut up watermelon, and bread. Bread? I was excited I had all the fixings, or so I thought. I had bread on my list, but I must’ve been distracted- I had forgotten to buy bread that day! Oh, I wanted to give them a good meal- my heart went out to them. I ran to the downstairs freezer to see if there was an extra loaf down there. I was hurrying to get them a meal, as I knew they were so hungry- these were my next door neighbors!! I stopped frozen as I opened the freezer door. As if a spotlight on a darkened stage shown to the bottom of the freezer, there it was. Mom’s last loaf of bread. Tears flooded my eyes as I slammed the door shut- “NO LORD! NOT MOM’S BREAD! DON’T MAKE ME GIVE IT TO THEM” I felt the Holy Spirit tug on my heart, and I opened the freezer door once more as the Lord said to me, that it was THIS bread that He wanted me to give to the neighbors. Mom’s last bread. I silently, but with tears flowing, brought the loaf upstairs. I put it in the oven to heat it up and to give it that just baked taste. Darren and I prayed over the food- and I walked over to the house to deliver it. I walked into the backyard where I saw the man sitting. He thanked me, as I told him what was in the containers and simply said there was some special homemade bread on top. The woman walked into the view of the patio door. She was a hardened women. Full of tattoos and missing teeth, she probably was in her early 40’s, but looked at least 50. Years of chain-smoking, 3 different fathers of her children, a foreclosure, had hardened her. She melted into a sobbing pile of tears. I had never seen her like this. She hugged and hung on to me tightly and thanked me for helping her. She was embarrassed, but knew she needed help. I was able to share with her- oh, how I had been praying for a chance to break down the walls and reach out to her. I had the chance to share Christ’s love with her.

As I walked back home, the Lord laid on my heart, that THAT was what mom would have done. She would have given them her best. Many times, she would have gone on Greyhound bus trips, only to bring a friend home that was down and out that she met. She invited widows over for Thanksgiving. She mentored and mothered piano students as if they were her own children. Mom’s heart reached beyond the grave that night as she continued to live out Matthew 25- “For I was hungry and you gave me to eat: I was thirsty, and you gave me to drink: I was a stranger, and you took me in. …Amen I say to you, as long as you did it to one of these my least brethren, you did it to me.” Mom’s Last Bread.

~Written by Korissa Olson

Greetings Cyberspace Partners:

Life is continuing to move on…at times I am overwhelmed with all the responsibilities. Do as much as I can each day and some things just have to wait. SHECSTOCK (Missoula’s ch. camp) was good and well attended. My good friend and former Supt. Derry Long was the keynote speaker. I also got involved in some of John’s moving episodes (more of that later-good to be alive). Heather and the children flew back to Mn. John and I drove back to Billings with the motor home towing a car. He took the motor home to Mn. Since their house deal fell through. They will live in the Motor home for the next two months…pray for them.

I will leave this week for Eastern Mt. and N. Dak. visitng pastors and churches. Korissa is coming to Lehr, N. Dak. Sept. 5 & 6 to lead worship at a ladies retreat. Sept. 8 will also be the day for the setting of Vonda’s memorial headstone. John is planning on coming from Mn to be present…so at least part of the family will be there…it still seems so unreal that she is not coming back and we all miss her terribly. I will return Sept. 12th via Plentywood, Mt. and Circle, Mt.

Some of you have been wondering and praying about our medical financial situation since we are having such a battle with the insurance company. It has been a long, overwhelming and frustrating experience. The standard chemo was not working… switching to the new chemo was considered “trial” which did give Vonda months of longevity. However, they have lumped everything together (chemo, blood work & administration) considering all treatment from last June to her passing as experimental. My argument: The needles for blood test, lab work, needles and tubes to administer the “trial” chemo should not be included as “trial”!! Only what flows through the tubes should be considered trial. (They will find every loop hole possible.

I had another go around last week and got nowhere. So here is my current status.

Accumulated medical bills: $351,654. Staggering!! Insurance co. did pay for about 1/2 of her treatments…thank you. They have refused over $175,000! I have had numerous meetings and appeals with the insurance co., drug co., & Oncology depart. The drug company is so convinced that the newer treatment is so much more effective (proven by Vonda) they decided to replaced the trial chemo back to the Oncology department…PTL. The assistance of many family and friends contributing to the Med Benefit Fund has been an incredible relief to my medical financial pressures. Your generousity has been a humbling and grateful experience…our God indeed is bigger than the Ins. co. I am now in the process of having to pay off the last $14,829. (This is the amount I was negotiating with last week) Through my arugment and calling them to account they assured me that changes are in the making but it does not apply to my situation because it hasn’t passed through the system…so I pray through all of this many others will benefit from it and have an easier time financially dealing with their health issues and the insurance co.

Thanks for letting me share. (I have received a lot of positive feedback from my sharing on the “Apparent Non=Intervention of God”) You can share my current story from a Biblical perspective by logging on to: www.Faithe.org (Aug. 10th)

All for now! Lonely but blessed!

J. Dale

Dear Cyber Prayer Partners:

Life keeps moving on. I will be leaving tonight for Beach, N. Dak. and next Tues. leaving for a week to attend the family camp of SouthHills Evangelical Church, called SHECSTOCK.

last weekend I spoke at three services at our Faith Evangelical Church in Billings, Mt. The subject the Lord laid on my heart was “The Apparent Non-Intervention of God”. I shared my journey and how we live life when at times God does not answer our prayers as we think He should. If you care to listen to the message and share with others who are going through difficult times log on to: www.Faithe.org (Aug. 10th message)

Must run along…blessings to all of you!

J. Dale Erbele